Month: January 2011

Liberal or Conservative?

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liberal– adj

tolerant of change; not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or tradition. Favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, esp. as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.

Conservative– adj

favoring the preservation of established customs, values, etc, and opposing  innovation or change. A person who is reluctant to change or consider new ideas

When I read the definition of these two words I wonder “who am I, a liberal or a conservative?”  I strongly believe in and value customs and traditions. I am religious, I dress conservatively- what does that make me?

These are my personal beliefs and choices, and I believe that each person has the right to their personal beliefs, whether those beliefs or choices are liberal or conservative.  It seems that in order to ensure that I can keep my individual, conservative choices, I HAVE TO BE LIBERAL.

Being liberal or conservative is not about YOU. It should have very little to do with  your views on gay marriage,  or abortion, or whether you go to church or not, or how you dress. Being a Liberal or Conservative is about how you view others choices.

If you believe your opinion, whether liberal or conservative, has the right to exist, then how can one be a conservative. If you are a conservative then you have given someone, somewhere in the world,  the right to extinguish your opinion and bulldoze their own: that someone can be a priest, a Taliban, a preacher, a follower, a fascist, a racist or a terrorist.

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children-George Bernard Shaw

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Youth is a window of opportunity given to us by life to change the world, for ourselves, and everyone around us. It holds in it the key to the past and the future. Then why do most of us waste our youth on just our children?

Do we view it as an insurance plan for our old age? Is it an extension of our ego? Or is it pure self-indulgence? I heard someone once say “if you could think of everyone around you like your children, the world would be a better place”. The more thought I give to this idea, the more it makes sense to me. We cover their weaknesses, build their strengths, are ever- forgiving,  patient, accommodating, unconditionally loving, caring, trusting and selfless with them. If we could feel this way about people around us; our families, parents, siblings, co-workers, employees, friends, how different our relations, interactions and experiences would be. How different the world would be.

I see hundreds of parents every day from different walks of life: different cultures, religions, social strata, and they all share one thing in common- an existence centered around their children.  Expressed through an overindulgence of food, toys, games, clothes, emotions and time.  They have no time, no  money and no love  left to give.  They are financially, emotionally and physically exhausted. I rarely see a parent love another child, I rarely see a parent feel happy for another’s child, I rarely see a parent appreciate another parent – even their own.

Has our unconditional and almost obsessive love for our children, damaged the basic fabric and balance of society. Leaving one segment over attended and all others unattended.My husband always says ‘love flows downwards – we all think our children will reciprocate what we are doing for them, but they won’t, they will do it for their children’.

I am not a parent, but if being a parent means allocating all your resources to just your children and embezzling on other’s  share of emotions, love and time , then I am glad we decided not to be parents. The world can do with one less criminal.