Month: February 2011

And The Countdown Begins…

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Recently it seems like there is a wave of parents in town, all coming to visit their sons, daughters, grandchildren. Last night while we were out meeting some friends for dinner, somebody said ‘it is nice to see all the oldies having fun and socializing with their friends’. It suddenly struck me how I had never thought of my own parents as ‘oldies’.  I have to admit that even though I am in my 30’s, in the equation I had created in my head, I was still viewing them as a ‘young’ couple and us as their children – and together we make a  nucleus.

In reality though, the equation has changed. They are no longer ‘young’. Even though it always seemed like they were the happening ones, with the busy social lives, making decisions, and  still in charge of the family…. the nucleus of the family has shifted.

This thought saddens me. Why? I myself don’t completely understand. May be because it is part of the circle of life and somewhere in it I can see my own reflection. I feel all our lives we are busy running after the next milestone. Soon after we are born, we are waiting to crawl, then walk, then talk, then start school, then go off to college, get our first job, find our soul mate, have children, buy our first house…..an endless list of milestones we are counting towards. Suddenly, somewhere along the line the countDOWN begins, and we don’t even realize it.

Our life seems to shift from a growth mode to a downsizing mode. Everything around us starts to shrink: our family, our friends, our square footage, the size of our car, our wardrobe, our appetite, our needs…and even our dress size . All the things we had amassed, worked hard for and accomplished over the years slowly go away, just as they came.You eventually even lose the basics skills you had mastered as a child: the ability to walk, run, climb stairs,  dress yourself.  It is like hitting the rewind button and watching your life in reverse.

You are slowly and sometimes painfully watching  the clock,  waiting for the countdown to end….but when the countdown started you never really knew.

Good Things Come in…..Packages

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As I interact with people, I realize that people come in packages. We all are a set combination of characteristics and traits, which make us who we are. Viewing people as a package helps me understand, appreciate and accommodate their strengths and weaknesses.

We always wish that people were a customized prototype of our wishes. However in building our own custom model, we forget that as we add features we might end up losing the basic functionality that we desire.

A person’s dominant traits are a result of their inherent personality, thinking, mindset and quirks. We can tweak the packaging a little but changing it completely means we need to change the content.  We need to ask ourselves how much we value the content, and is it worth changing the packaging for…….

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

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In a time where we have become used to  instant gratifications, it is easier to change than to grow. Change is instant, where as growth is an ongoing journey.  Maybe that is the reason more and more people prefer to change than to grow.   Change is a more deliberate act, giving us instant and visible results. Growth is a summary of our choices and life’s journey. It is not as easily measurable, nor is it as instantly gratifying.

Literally speaking, Change implies making either an essential difference often amounting to a loss of original identity or substitution of one thing for another. Growth is  progressive development. It is something that has increased and developed in a gradual beginning or coming forth been attained in the process of growing.

I think growth is a process and a goal on its own. It is always relative to its beginning, and therefore anchored to it. Making it a gradual and a more grounded process. Change I believe is the path to growth .You have to make the right changes in order to chose the right path.  Change cannot be a goal in itself. Since change involves some kind of transformation it is always isolated from its beginning and not in sight of it’s goal.

John Maxwell said “If we are growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone”. Growth only happens when we are comfortable enough to be pushed out of our comfort zones. Where as change happens when we are not comfortable with ourselves to start with.

These  two words are so closely related and intertwined,  yet they are so different. Change is a key ingredient for growth, but more and more of us are valuing change as a goal in itself. We want to change our image, our clothes, our style, our cars, our lifestyles, our homes, our looks and we believe in the process we can induce growth.  We are so busy changing that somewhere we have stopped growing.